Okay here we go:
1. Everyone is just an old kid playing make believe. Especially those kids in suits with briefcases. Their new tree house just has an elevator. Buy a kite, one of the really stupid superhero themed ones.
2. Everything worth loving in life you carry in your mind, if love is inside of you then love is everywhere you go. You can’t possibly lose. Attacking yourself is the greatest war crime.
3. Your retirement fund can’t buy you the last 40 years of your life back. Spend more time at the park doing really stupid stuff. Ducks are cool. Your parents disappointment just means they love you anyways.
4. Someone on their death bed was granted the wish of living as you for today. Every day. They usually wish you’d dance more even though they know it’s cheesy to ask.
5. Never fear death, if you’re dead you can’t have regrets, like “Man I shouldn’t have put that fork in the toaster.”
6. Happiness is acceleration. You can only feel it when it’s increasing or decreasing, but neither can last forever. You’d fly off the planet.
7. Music will do more for you than religion ever will. Fill your house and brain with it. Don’t take life advice from anyone who doesn’t.
8. Quit being in a hurry to reach some goal or destination, life is only ever this exact instant that you’re in, and nothing else, ever. EVER. The past literally does not exist, neither does the future.
9. Everything you’ve ever thought can be completely wrong, including existential lists you posted to WordPress.
10. Always say exactly how you really feel. Rejection is better than fear. You can always go it alone.
11. Your stupid cave man body is going to want to think stupid cave man thoughts. This war of logic vs. impulse will last forever. Try to roll with it rather than taking it head on.
12. If you ever start to lose perspective, go outside and stare at the moon until you feel better.
13. Watch lots of documentaries, read lots of books, or don’t who cares? Birds are weird.
14. Life is also weird.
15. You’re definitely forgetting something.
If you need me call me. I”ll be hanging out with this stupid whale.