What I think I might sort of maybe kind of possibly know about life at 25, a compendium of guilelessness:

existential

Okay here we go:

1. Everyone is just an old kid playing make believe. Especially those kids in suits with briefcases. Their new tree house just has an elevator. Buy a kite, one of the really stupid superhero themed ones.

2. Everything worth loving in life you carry in your mind, if love is inside of you then love is everywhere you go. You can’t possibly lose. Attacking yourself is the greatest war crime.

3. Your retirement fund can’t buy you the last 40 years of your life back. Spend more time at the park doing really stupid stuff. Ducks are cool. Your parents disappointment just means they love you anyways.

4. Someone on their death bed was granted the wish of living as you for today. Every day. They usually wish you’d dance more even though they know it’s cheesy to ask.

5. Never fear death, if you’re dead you can’t have regrets, like “Man I shouldn’t have put that fork in the toaster.”

6. Happiness is acceleration. You can only feel it when it’s increasing or decreasing, but neither can last forever. You’d fly off the planet.

7. Music will do more for you than religion ever will. Fill your house and brain with it. Don’t take life advice from anyone who doesn’t.

8. Quit being in a hurry to reach some goal or destination, life is only ever this exact instant that you’re in, and nothing else, ever. EVER. The past literally does not exist, neither does the future.

9. Everything you’ve ever thought can be completely wrong, including existential lists you posted to WordPress.

10. Always say exactly how you really feel. Rejection is better than fear. You can always go it alone.

11. Your stupid cave man body is going to want to think stupid cave man thoughts. This war of logic vs. impulse will last forever. Try to roll with it rather than taking it head on.

12. If you ever start to lose perspective, go outside and stare at the moon until you feel better.

13. Watch lots of documentaries, read lots of books, or don’t who cares? Birds are weird.

14. Life is also weird.

15. You’re definitely forgetting something.

If you need me call me. I”ll be hanging out with this stupid whale.

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6 thoughts on “What I think I might sort of maybe kind of possibly know about life at 25, a compendium of guilelessness:

  1. annierue says:

    Wisedumb. Wisdom disguised as dumb stuff. You’re the best.

  2. tracey says:

    Yes well you didn’t post this for a pain in the ass like me to ask you a further question over but I am going to anyway…(yes…eye-roll if you must)….what if YOU are the one who is unexpectedly rejected…could you give me a mantra to repeat for the next time this occur’s please…

    • Well I just try to remember why we hate rejection. We hate it because a long time ago rejection meant dying alone without your tribe. Wandering the desert until the vultures pulled your eyeballs out. Or not being able to reproduce.

      That’s why when we’re rejected we attack ourselves first. Our bodies want to push us back into the tribe so we can survive. You should do everything you can to stop this. If you turn on yourself you’ll always be alone, even in a crowd.

      Stand up for yourself, to yourself.

      • Thank you so much for your reply. There is so much to take away and file from this. I am going to show this to my seventeen year old daughter when she get’s in from school today…you know, in all the discussion’s her and I have been having lately I haven’t thought to go back to the VERY beginning…but I myself had forgotten so…yeah…my goodness Mr Super Nervous Cow, you should produce a book of mantra’s and throw some of your artwork into the mix…heartfelt yet funny and quirk-a-rama…

      • Haha aww thanks Tracey. 🙂 Hopefully nobody will call CPS after they find out you’re giving them advice you got from a deranged graphic designer in Idaho. Best of luck!

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