Tag Archives: Idaho

Death of a Snailsman

idahomarked

Every day you have to wake up and find your own screwed up way to make peace with the world.

Sometimes night comes fast though, and there’s nothing in sight.

So look around, gather what you can from life,

And make a screwed up peace with yourself.

Illustration notes: Personal project, 2 days to complete, Adobe Illustrator

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???

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From the notebook, whatever this is.

It makes more sense if you listen to this song.

(It doesn’t really I just wanted to trick you into listening to The Four Tops because you looked like you needed it)

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Happathy

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This should be prefaced with an explanation. It’s not. I’m sorry.

Pre-manipulated photo credit here

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Gummi Blare

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Sometimes I’m sad, but I’m happy I’m sad. I think being able to feel anything makes me one of the lucky ones. Some people can’t feel sad, just empty. Other people have died and can’t feel anything at all. I feel grateful just that I can lift up my eyelids and see things, anything. I know people younger than me who didn’t make it that far today.

I wish I could tell other people how not to be sad, but nobody can. It’s better to listen instead. So that’s what I’m going to do, listen.

Hope you like the fake book cover, like all things it has no purpose.

And hey, I’m moving to Los Angeles at the end of this month! Pretty big deal for a kid from small town Idaho.

fuckfacetex

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You Say Gelato

ICED-CREAM

What am I some kind of new age yuppie existentialist? Nay, I am a pirate, crucified on the pillars of apathy. A fat pacific tuna, drifting through the waters of a french film noir. An anxious floorboard in Ted Nugent’s abandoned Manhatten loft. An enigma. You think you know me, but you don’t, you never will. You have no idea what I’m saying, or why I accompanied this post with an insultingly out of season ice cream illustration. When you are crying in your car on the way to work tomorrow you remember that feeling. Nothing means anything, and so everything means something.

And if today you let a sink in, make sure it’s not that.

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Nightcrawler

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Nightcrawler was a strange and dark movie, a movie with no good guys and an ending that makes you feel relieved and guilty at the same time. Naturally I loved it, so I made this poster based on the camera used by Jake Gyllenhaal in the film. Maybe nobody saw the film, I’m not sure, but I hope you enjoy the poster anyways.

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In Which I Issue A Redaction

I must apologize for a previous post in which I commented on the moral character of those who enjoy everything bagels. As it turns out, my girlfriend rather adores these crispy golden brown rejects.

Not to worry though, I made her this, that we may find peace between our great bagel kingdoms.

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Rabitibbar

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rappart

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I drew a rabbit. Then I made a rabbit pattern. Then I used it on a book. No politics, no religion, no philosophy, no humor, it’s a rabbit. If you were looking for something that wasn’t a rabbit, I’m sorry to disappoint you. It’s just a rabbit. It’s not even a well drawn rabbit. It’s a rabbit. A rabbit. Rabbit is starting to look weird, It’s sort of a weird word. Rab, bit. RABBIT. RABBITRABBITRABBIT.

Turtle coming Fall 2015.

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Everything Bagels Suck, If You Like Them You Are A Bad Person.

initiation

I wrote a lot of different things here that weren’t related to each other but then I deleted them. No worries though, I feel that the image above from my notebook pretty clearly describes what I was trying to communicate to you.
 
I also noticed that if I make a typo while writing these posts, rather than clicking back to where the typo is I will just backspace all the way back to the typo, re-write it, and then re-write the rest of the text again. So there’s that.
 
I hope you found all of this educational.

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Not An Answer

imstillherefin

I heard these words a long time ago in the movie Treasure Planet and they always stuck with me. I like repeating them to myself whenever I feel judged, embarrassed, anxious, hopeless, whatever. I like remembering my arms still move, words still come out of my mouth, brains still on. Nobody’s taken anything from me and unless they kill me dead they never could. I exist, I’ll keep existing. You can love it, I can love it, you can hate it, I can hate it, doesn’t matter, still here. Still gonna be here. Still enjoying it up, down, sideways, standing still. Still stilling.

Your move universe.

 

Here’s the link to the song if you’re interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_tth9Yz4jc

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Vicarious

nothingleft2

If you were watching a movie about your life right now what would you want the main character to do? I never thought the answer to that question had to be particularly grand or larger than life. After all some of my favorite movies don’t have any heroes or explosions. In fact I think the only wrong answer to that question has been nothing. The only wrong thing you could ever do is nothing. I mean if I go out and something horrible happens to me, that’s a pretty interesting story. If I go out and something great happens to me that’s pretty interesting too. The only story I don’t want to watch is one where the main character does nothing. That and Transformers: Age of Extinction. Seriously that movie was horrible.

 

So to recap: nothing, or anything that happened in Transformers: Age of Extinction.

 

Now go direct your own movie.

“When you are bombarded with images from all the people you’ve ever known and people you’ll never meet, the sense of your own experience inevitably becomes more diluted.” -Bryan Melmed

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Into Darkness

lookbutdonttouch

Try to imagine the distant future. Don’t just imagine a world with flying cars and faster computers. Imagine a world that is offensive to us, and yet correct. Imagine a world where people possess not things but ideas we’ve never had. Imagine something you can’t imagine. That is the future.

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Isolation, what a beautiful awful wonderful horrible gift.

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Am I a dumb? A mental expropriation.

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Everyone agrees on two things: that a majority of people are stupid, and that they are not one of them. We can as such deduce that a common factor shared among all stupid people is a sincere belief that they are not stupid. I can say I’m smart, but that’s exactly what a stupid person would say. Therefore the only way to prove objectively that I am smart is to believe I am stupid, which is the one thing a stupid person would never do. Unfortunately reaching this conclusion makes me feel smart, which reintroduces the possibility that I may be stupid. I realize now that my only choice it to believe that I may or may not be stupid, and I don’t feel any way about that.

 

Solved, next question.

 

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Income Report

14may9

My dad taught me how to stand up alone. My mom taught me how to love anybody. My oldest friend taught me how to stop and help when other people won’t. My sisters taught me how to forgive. My dogs taught me how to laugh at my own jokes. People along the way taught me how to change. And I taught myself that I can be invincible.

 
Rich and getting richer…

 

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Craig

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Craig is going to be my new creative wisp. If that sounds stupid you can blame Elizabeth Gilbert, it was her stupid idea (link). Which is now Craig’s stupid idea.

You’re my boy Craig….

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We are so weird.

forefathers
First, the above illustration isn’t a dig at my parents, grandparents, or even family tree. Most of what I love about myself I get from my family (also probably why I’m crazy). I’ve always been disillusioned with patriotism and tradition though. I like objectivity. Why do anything just because it’s the way that it’s been done? I like change. I want to change always.

Now, America as examined by an alien:

Notes on planet X334:

1. Humans use expensive cut up rocks to pledge love to one another. Most don’t even contain color.

2. Humans made everything faster, yet work more than they used to in some masochistic cycle of death.

3. Humans who move at only 30 times the speed of walking greatly anger the humans moving at 31 times the speed of walking.

4. Humans spend time hiding things in boxes that are then immediately torn open by other humans.

5. They prefer humans who are smaller horizontally, but not vertically.

6. Humans all clear their heads and stare at a large striped cloth to music periodically.

7. Some humans express a moment of silence at dinner, possibly in reverence for all the animal death, plant death, and human slave labor that provided the meal. Most of which will be thrown away.

8. Many humans killing each other for pieces of paper with historical figures printed on them. When these prints aren’t available reading the wrong book will suffice.

9. The ones with colorful striped nooses around their neck seem to receive more respect.

10. They filter water many, many times before defecating in it.

Further observation pending.

 

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What I think I might sort of maybe kind of possibly know about life at 25, a compendium of guilelessness:

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Okay here we go:

1. Everyone is just an old kid playing make believe. Especially those kids in suits with briefcases. Their new tree house just has an elevator. Buy a kite, one of the really stupid superhero themed ones.

2. Everything worth loving in life you carry in your mind, if love is inside of you then love is everywhere you go. You can’t possibly lose. Attacking yourself is the greatest war crime.

3. Your retirement fund can’t buy you the last 40 years of your life back. Spend more time at the park doing really stupid stuff. Ducks are cool. Your parents disappointment just means they love you anyways.

4. Someone on their death bed was granted the wish of living as you for today. Every day. They usually wish you’d dance more even though they know it’s cheesy to ask.

5. Never fear death, if you’re dead you can’t have regrets, like “Man I shouldn’t have put that fork in the toaster.”

6. Happiness is acceleration. You can only feel it when it’s increasing or decreasing, but neither can last forever. You’d fly off the planet.

7. Music will do more for you than religion ever will. Fill your house and brain with it. Don’t take life advice from anyone who doesn’t.

8. Quit being in a hurry to reach some goal or destination, life is only ever this exact instant that you’re in, and nothing else, ever. EVER. The past literally does not exist, neither does the future.

9. Everything you’ve ever thought can be completely wrong, including existential lists you posted to WordPress.

10. Always say exactly how you really feel. Rejection is better than fear. You can always go it alone.

11. Your stupid cave man body is going to want to think stupid cave man thoughts. This war of logic vs. impulse will last forever. Try to roll with it rather than taking it head on.

12. If you ever start to lose perspective, go outside and stare at the moon until you feel better.

13. Watch lots of documentaries, read lots of books, or don’t who cares? Birds are weird.

14. Life is also weird.

15. You’re definitely forgetting something.

If you need me call me. I”ll be hanging out with this stupid whale.

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Personal Pizza

seenthesun

Isn’t it crazy that you can sit here and think words. I mean you’re sitting here, and you have a trillion individual dumb cells that work together to provide you with your own personal universe. In this universe you can think things, and then store those things in permanent memory. You can process simulation scenarios to predict outcomes of situations, and place yourself in the shoes of another universe to gather understanding. In our universe different things have meaning, different things are beautiful, different things are sad.

 
When you die this absolutely unique universe dies with you. Nobody, no matter how well they know you, will ever be able to truly stand inside of it.

 

Feels good.

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Satan’s Best Friend

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Nobody ever told me they liked these things, I just keep making them because I think it’s hilarious. Hey screw you though I’m not selling anything here. Seriously why are you even reading this? Don’t you have something to do? Get out of here you creep. Just kidding don’t leave, can’t you see how unstable I am? I mean look at this blog post.

Always remember kids: puppies obey only the will of Satan. Tell an adult immediately if you believe a puppy is attempting to drain your soul energy for his dark master.

This is a PSA of the World Health Organization.

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Condors and Butterflies

Abetterfly abconcordfly

Too many sunrises on the wrong end of the day. Hope you enjoy these illustrations, my songs on and it’s time for me to disappear. Oh and try loving something today would ya? Cheers.

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Can a waffle predict the existence of god?

yowhat

Is there any way for you to have what you want when what you want is to have what you don’t? If we can’t all be what we were then were we what we were have? I mean if you don’t have to want what to be for then what is there to become for it to have anyways? It’s just a cycle of whatever you want what to be for and have that we can’t all be anyways. When what’s what is the what you want then the what what will become the what what to be what. Just have what you long for and to be what you’ll need to be for the future any have. Sometimes I think that we are having something to be for of having what we would without, but then I think that this must be the having of whatever this isn’t. Everything that you wanted to go this way what to have for to be what you’d want to what the where’s of to how isn’t the where have to what if and to be anywhere on the plane of existence. This sentence is comprehensible. Turbulence cheers you dig?

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