Consumer of judgment.
When you start some nonsensical personal blog you never think about how it could hurt someone you used to love–or still do.
It can make it hard to speak, to draw.
When hurting them hurts you.
That’s never what I wanted.
I just want to keep creating anything until I find some way forward.
To keep running into the fog until I hit something.
To dive into the deep end of a cold pool and go numb.
And I know I have to keep going, or maybe I just want to.
But I hope they’re okay.
There is absolutely no faking this life.
There is little time for reflection.
You have to get in the car before you know where it’s going.
And you will.
// Illustration notes: Made with Illustrator, Pen, Photoshop. Inspired by the 1960-70 Maserati Ghibli. Which is Italian and not German, despite the title. //
You want it? You can have it.
Are you sure you can carry it?
I’ll help you if I can.
I’m not trying to trick you.
I can be wrong.
I don’t need to win an argument.
People don’t really need to talk so much.
Just as well to bark.
You think people into what they are to you anyways.
If you hang around someone who thinks you’re a loser long enough–and you care about them–then you are a loser.
Let them have it.
I’m going to go be wrong somewhere far, far away from here.
And I’ll be wrong and alright.
We’ll all be alright.
Or at least we’ll be alright with not being alright.
Things we think we know about a person, relative to what we think we know about ourselves, relative to what we think we know about the world.
Ghosts, judging ghosts, judging dust.
So I stopped trying to answer their questions.
Even better, I stopped trying to explain myself to myself.
I built my own monolith in a field.
Mountains from dirt.
Incredible for no reason, and to no person.
Winds in any direction still lift, after all.
So tell me, what’s the difference.
Better yet, don’t.
It can be a little unnerving when the walls you spent so long building up get washed away in a high tide. Like you’re building with sand, and making no progress.
It’s no matter though, you always knew the walls were built out of sand.
You don’t find comfort in thinking they’ll protect you from getting washed away.
You find comfort in knowing they can be rebuilt.
Image note: This is a re-work of my previous post ‘Tracheal’ in preparation for its addition to the Super National store on Society6. All new colors and textures in 6k resolution for those who enjoy scrutiny! I actually ended up liking it a lot more than the original.
Super Nervous Cow is–for the first time–actually selling something! Say hello to my new store ‘Super National’ on Society6 and get free shipping with this unique link: http://bit.ly/2avo2x3 (Limited time).
There are currently three prints available for a limited run in various customized formats. I’ve started illustrating in nearly 6000 x 6000 px to make sure the larger prints and small prints alike are crisp as morning dew.
I hope you enjoy! Look here for extras and all the usual art of course.
A modern tide generator pulls power when the tide comes in, and again when the tide goes out.
You can get rich betting on the stock market going up, or down.
We can’t always choose our emotions, but we can choose what we do with the fuel they give us.
Your love gives me fuel.
So does your distaste..
And it’s all going to the same place.
I’m sorry, I know I’m not making enough money to keep the wolves fed. I know my finances are kind of a mess, I feel bad about that. Just understand that I had–have no choice. I have to wake up every day and do what I love, I just don’t see any way around that. I can never forget that I only have one life, and that I can’t waste it. It’s something inside me that I can’t ignore.
Don’t worry, the money will come. I’ve been preparing this stage for a while now. I just had to make sure I got it right. I can’t end up like Robin Williams, hung out in a mansion. I had to keep following that voice, no matter what, in spite of everything. I had to do what I knew would make me happy, no matter how ignorantly idealistic.
But the tickets are on sale for the show now. Spotlights are beaming into the low fog. I’m ready to show the world what I can do. Ready to leave their doubts behind me.
You know, in High School, there was this kid I hated more than anyone. I remember suppressing the urge to throw a punch once or twice. It kept me up at night.
But for the life of me.. I can’t remember his face.
So I wonder,
What was all the hate for…
So don’t ask me if I’m doing okay.
Ask me if I’m looking forward to waking up tomorrow.
The answer is yes.
Arrogance, how are you. Want to take the wheel for today? You look well rested, and I’m very tired.
I’m not sure if people like you more, or less, or the same. You don’t seem to care though. I always appreciated that about you.
Ready to fly?
Note: Here’s a link to a summarized creation GIF for last weeks ‘Founder’ post.
Image Note: Background Image ‘Twins’ 1988. Script by hand.