Tag Archives: motivation

Reclamation

I think about how it could have been me who jumped off that cliff.

Our lives were so similar.

Why did he jump when I didn’t.

I can’t ask now.

But I can keep riding for both of us.

And when people tell me to stop.

I’ll just imagine that it was me at the bottom of that cliff.

That it’s you here.

That I’m the dead one.

And the dead don’t care.

 

That is how I will reclaim your life,

And how I will reclaim my life.

 

 

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Have It

You want it? You can have it.

Are you sure you can carry it?

I’ll help you if I can.

I’m not trying to trick you.

 

I can be wrong.

I don’t need to win an argument.

People don’t really need to talk so much.

Just as well to bark.

 

You think people into what they are to you anyways.

If you hang around someone who thinks you’re a loser long enough–and you care about them–then you are a loser.

 

So leave.

Let them have it.

They’re right.

You’re right.

 

I’m going to go be wrong somewhere far, far away from here.

And I’ll be wrong and alright.

 

 

 

We’ll all be alright.

Or at least we’ll be alright with not being alright.

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Rocketslow

raceday1k

I think I could explain why to do it forever. But then, when would I do it.

Why not just surf on a wave of answerless questions instead.

No ability to explain what it feels like.

No need to explain what it feels like.

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Lung(e)

newLUNGSPSD15k

It can be a little unnerving when the walls you spent so long building up get washed away in a high tide. Like you’re building with sand, and making no progress.

It’s no matter though, you always knew the walls were built out of sand.

You don’t find comfort in thinking they’ll protect you from getting washed away.

You find comfort in knowing they can be rebuilt.

Image note: This is a re-work of my previous post ‘Tracheal’ in preparation for its addition to the Super National store on Society6. All new colors and textures in 6k resolution for those who enjoy scrutiny! I actually ended up liking it a lot more than the original.

 

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Vatic

dontstopme1k

People keep telling me It’s about to start raining, but the only clouds I see are the clouds I’m making.

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Ossify

shieldsI’m not saying I’m the best. I’m not even saying I’m better. I’m just saying with absolute, unbreakable certainty that I am good enough.

That’s a shield that will never break.

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Hold Steady

whateverhappens960

My convictions are a long and heavy train, ready to change course, and utterly unstoppable in its forward momentum.

Get on the train, I love company. Hook your own train car on the back. Throw things at the train. Yell at the train. Hop in front of the train. It makes no difference to me. There’s plenty of coal and a raging fire.

The dance will continue to the end of the track.

 
Image Note: Inspired by D.A.N.C.E. MSTRKRFT Remix ( Link )

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Moldy Cache

anger

I approach every day the way I approach a bowl of Lucky Charms: Eat a few spoonfuls and then throw the rest on the floor when you remember it’s sugar coated garbage.

No no… I’m not quite that bitter yet. Let me start over.

I haven’t felt as open as I used to be. Not as willing to let others write in my metaphorical book, if you will.  Sometimes you’re just too broken to feel open minded. I won’t apologize for that.

It’s so easy to become bitter when every item, every song has a long red Crime Noir thread tied to old pains. It’s so easy to become paralyzed, trapped in the web.

But It’s just thread, a series of twisted, inaccurate, convoluted ghosts; and I am God. At least insomuch as this is my mind, and my life.

I just have to stand up and remember that the red strings don’t hold my hand back when I draw. They don’t hold my feet back when I’m pushing my skateboard. They don’t block the wind when I run. What strength do they have that I don’t give them, after all.

I’ve realized that I could spend a lifetime running around trying to cut these strings, trying to run from the hurt.

But I can’t, any more that I can stem the tides.

So I won’t.

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Placebo Rocketship Express

iafa

It’s going to be a little hard to type this, I fractured two of my fingers in a high speed skateboarding accident involving myself (henceforth referred to as the plaintiff) and the ground (henceforth referred to as the defendant) of which you can view the aftermath here. Not to worry, I can still draw. Pending evidence I could draw prior to the accident of course.

The defendant is expected to have a swift recovery from his or her injuries as well.  I digress.

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I never was a magical thinker. Never believed in the paranormal. I think that always gave everyone the impression that I was a little bit pessimistic. After all the realities of life are a large and unbearably painful fire to stand next to, one that we all have to back away from sometimes. Maybe it’s TV, games, drugs, prescriptions, sugar, attention, consumption, adrenaline, or just old fashioned debauchery and religion. The great unmet dark that we all must fill and carry appears universal, as does our need to escape it. Having recently gone through another difficult breakup, I feel its sharp and familiar pull, but I find comfort in knowing it’s a widely shared pain.

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It makes me wonder sometimes if we just weren’t meant to handle all this. What if our stone age bodies are collapsing under the speed and information of it all. What in my evolution–after all–could have prepared me to even begin to grasp all the pain we now know people to be suffering every moment, every where, every day. It’s too easy to lose yourself in the sorrows.

But, I digress again.

The fact is you don’t have to believe in magic to believe in the human spirit. The placebo effect isn’t magic after all. We know to some degree of certainty that if we believe something strongly enough we can alter our very reality for the better.

That’s why I always thought that If you simply refuse to kneel to the pressures. If you just decide that there is a next chapter, if you just know that you won’t stop. Then you sit in the fires of life, but you notice they don’t burn so much. And, if you’re lucky, you might even feel warm.

What else can you do.

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Illustration note: I can provide government certified documents validating that I am in fact of legal adult age for a United States citizen.

 

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A Prestigious Award

2015award

I want to thank everyone who helped me get here! Myself, a fish, a sandwich. Too many to name them all. I have to stop before I cry. Thank you thank you.

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Income Report

14may9

My dad taught me how to stand up alone. My mom taught me how to love anybody. My oldest friend taught me how to stop and help when other people won’t. My sisters taught me how to forgive. My dogs taught me how to laugh at my own jokes. People along the way taught me how to change. And I taught myself that I can be invincible.

 
Rich and getting richer…

 

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Craig

craigheader

craigcomic4

Craig is going to be my new creative wisp. If that sounds stupid you can blame Elizabeth Gilbert, it was her stupid idea (link). Which is now Craig’s stupid idea.

You’re my boy Craig….

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Personal Pizza

seenthesun

Isn’t it crazy that you can sit here and think words. I mean you’re sitting here, and you have a trillion individual dumb cells that work together to provide you with your own personal universe. In this universe you can think things, and then store those things in permanent memory. You can process simulation scenarios to predict outcomes of situations, and place yourself in the shoes of another universe to gather understanding. In our universe different things have meaning, different things are beautiful, different things are sad.

 
When you die this absolutely unique universe dies with you. Nobody, no matter how well they know you, will ever be able to truly stand inside of it.

 

Feels good.

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Questionable Confidence

octocurity

Sometimes in life you come across the question “How would you rate your self confidence?”. When I see that question I usually want to select “Extremely confident” and “Not at all confident” simultaneously. I think it could best be summed up with the following sentence: “I’m the best, right?”.

The key word there is the “right?’ at the end. Because I’m a supremely confident–almost arrogant–person, but only if other people approve of that analysis, right?

It’s what happens when you go through life loving yourself while simultaneously assuming that everybody else hates you, and you really don’t need it. That I am extremely confident about.

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