Tag Archives: notebook

Fence Predators

Dot one letter.

Forget another.

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Hurts

When you start some nonsensical personal blog you never think about how it could hurt someone you used to love–or still do.

It can make it hard to speak, to draw.

When hurting them hurts you.

That’s never what I wanted.

I just want to keep creating anything until I find some way forward.

To keep running into the fog until I hit something.

To dive into the deep end of a cold pool and go numb.

That’s all.

And I know I have to keep going, or maybe I just want to.

But I hope they’re okay.

 

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Runaways

When nobody can make you feel better.

And you can’t ignore it long enough to distract yourself.

And there’s no such thing as busy enough to forget about it.

And you just go deaf.

Catatonic.

 

You’re not bored.

You just want to remember you’re alive.

Get higher, board faster.

Turn the music up.

Forget how you got home last night.

Remember falling asleep on the couch so you wouldn’t wake her up.

She hogged the blankets anyway.

 

But you’ve memorized the hills, and the ride isn’t such a rush anymore.

At least not enough to forget.

Your tolerance goes up, you blow out all your speakers.

There’s no one to hog the blankets.

And you’re not sure if that’s how you want it.

So you’re just left with that ringing in your ear.

 

But you always wake up one day and realize you feel it again.

You just have to make it until that morning.

When you wake up, and you’re back.

 

You always come around.

Just hold on.

You’ll come around to save yourself.

It will level out.

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19th

Nonsense. I’m just posting nonsense.

Design work and illustrations to come, sure.

But for now? nonsense.

 

 

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Summer Until Hot

I don’t know where to start again here.

So I guess I’ll just start with anything and see where that goes.

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Have It

You want it? You can have it.

Are you sure you can carry it?

I’ll help you if I can.

I’m not trying to trick you.

 

I can be wrong.

I don’t need to win an argument.

People don’t really need to talk so much.

Just as well to bark.

 

You think people into what they are to you anyways.

If you hang around someone who thinks you’re a loser long enough–and you care about them–then you are a loser.

 

So leave.

Let them have it.

They’re right.

You’re right.

 

I’m going to go be wrong somewhere far, far away from here.

And I’ll be wrong and alright.

 

 

 

We’ll all be alright.

Or at least we’ll be alright with not being alright.

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Showtime

download (2)

So happy the ‘Showtime: Whatever, Whoever, Whenever.’ print posted yesterday was selected by Society6 to be part of their official shop. It comes with a special deal you can check out here:

https://society6.com/product/showtime-amr_print

Thanks for your support, hope you enjoy. Hoping to finish another yet to be determined illustration today so look out for that!
-SNC

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Founder

anxietyreadyWARM1k

Anxiety, my old friend. You’ve been here for a while.

I always thought you were suffocating me in here…

But over time I’ve noticed,

Every now and then.. you loosen your grip enough for me to see outside.

I see we’re still heading the right direction.

And.. I see I’m not suffocating.

And then I see.

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Placebo Rocketship Express

iafa

It’s going to be a little hard to type this, I fractured two of my fingers in a high speed skateboarding accident involving myself (henceforth referred to as the plaintiff) and the ground (henceforth referred to as the defendant) of which you can view the aftermath here. Not to worry, I can still draw. Pending evidence I could draw prior to the accident of course.

The defendant is expected to have a swift recovery from his or her injuries as well.  I digress.

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I never was a magical thinker. Never believed in the paranormal. I think that always gave everyone the impression that I was a little bit pessimistic. After all the realities of life are a large and unbearably painful fire to stand next to, one that we all have to back away from sometimes. Maybe it’s TV, games, drugs, prescriptions, sugar, attention, consumption, adrenaline, or just old fashioned debauchery and religion. The great unmet dark that we all must fill and carry appears universal, as does our need to escape it. Having recently gone through another difficult breakup, I feel its sharp and familiar pull, but I find comfort in knowing it’s a widely shared pain.

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It makes me wonder sometimes if we just weren’t meant to handle all this. What if our stone age bodies are collapsing under the speed and information of it all. What in my evolution–after all–could have prepared me to even begin to grasp all the pain we now know people to be suffering every moment, every where, every day. It’s too easy to lose yourself in the sorrows.

But, I digress again.

The fact is you don’t have to believe in magic to believe in the human spirit. The placebo effect isn’t magic after all. We know to some degree of certainty that if we believe something strongly enough we can alter our very reality for the better.

That’s why I always thought that If you simply refuse to kneel to the pressures. If you just decide that there is a next chapter, if you just know that you won’t stop. Then you sit in the fires of life, but you notice they don’t burn so much. And, if you’re lucky, you might even feel warm.

What else can you do.

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Illustration note: I can provide government certified documents validating that I am in fact of legal adult age for a United States citizen.

 

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Buzzkill Lightyear

blog1food

Maybe I talk too much.

blog6foot

Nah, who cares.

blog2bird

They were wrong about me being a negative person anyways.

blog4perfect

I was just curious, that’s all.

blog7bio

The curious and the morbid were always close friends, right?

blog3leaf

And I do have friends.

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???

sketchbook

From the notebook, whatever this is.

It makes more sense if you listen to this song.

(It doesn’t really I just wanted to trick you into listening to The Four Tops because you looked like you needed it)

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Everything Bagels Suck, If You Like Them You Are A Bad Person.

initiation

I wrote a lot of different things here that weren’t related to each other but then I deleted them. No worries though, I feel that the image above from my notebook pretty clearly describes what I was trying to communicate to you.
 
I also noticed that if I make a typo while writing these posts, rather than clicking back to where the typo is I will just backspace all the way back to the typo, re-write it, and then re-write the rest of the text again. So there’s that.
 
I hope you found all of this educational.

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Income Report

14may9

My dad taught me how to stand up alone. My mom taught me how to love anybody. My oldest friend taught me how to stop and help when other people won’t. My sisters taught me how to forgive. My dogs taught me how to laugh at my own jokes. People along the way taught me how to change. And I taught myself that I can be invincible.

 
Rich and getting richer…

 

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Personal Pizza

seenthesun

Isn’t it crazy that you can sit here and think words. I mean you’re sitting here, and you have a trillion individual dumb cells that work together to provide you with your own personal universe. In this universe you can think things, and then store those things in permanent memory. You can process simulation scenarios to predict outcomes of situations, and place yourself in the shoes of another universe to gather understanding. In our universe different things have meaning, different things are beautiful, different things are sad.

 
When you die this absolutely unique universe dies with you. Nobody, no matter how well they know you, will ever be able to truly stand inside of it.

 

Feels good.

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