First, the above illustration isn’t a dig at my parents, grandparents, or even family tree. Most of what I love about myself I get from my family (also probably why I’m crazy). I’ve always been disillusioned with patriotism and tradition though. I like objectivity. Why do anything just because it’s the way that it’s been done? I like change. I want to change always.
Now, America as examined by an alien:
Notes on planet X334:
1. Humans use expensive cut up rocks to pledge love to one another. Most don’t even contain color.
2. Humans made everything faster, yet work more than they used to in some masochistic cycle of death.
3. Humans who move at only 30 times the speed of walking greatly anger the humans moving at 31 times the speed of walking.
4. Humans spend time hiding things in boxes that are then immediately torn open by other humans.
5. They prefer humans who are smaller horizontally, but not vertically.
6. Humans all clear their heads and stare at a large striped cloth to music periodically.
7. Some humans express a moment of silence at dinner, possibly in reverence for all the animal death, plant death, and human slave labor that provided the meal. Most of which will be thrown away.
8. Many humans killing each other for pieces of paper with historical figures printed on them. When these prints aren’t available reading the wrong book will suffice.
9. The ones with colorful striped nooses around their neck seem to receive more respect.
10. They filter water many, many times before defecating in it.
Further observation pending.