Tag Archives: writing

Hurts

When you start some nonsensical personal blog you never think about how it could hurt someone you used to love–or still do.

It can make it hard to speak, to draw.

When hurting them hurts you.

That’s never what I wanted.

I just want to keep creating anything until I find some way forward.

To keep running into the fog until I hit something.

To dive into the deep end of a cold pool and go numb.

That’s all.

And I know I have to keep going, or maybe I just want to.

But I hope they’re okay.

 

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Reclamation

I think about how it could have been me who jumped off that cliff.

Our lives were so similar.

Why did he jump when I didn’t.

I can’t ask now.

But I can keep riding for both of us.

And when people tell me to stop.

I’ll just imagine that it was me at the bottom of that cliff.

That it’s you here.

That I’m the dead one.

And the dead don’t care.

 

That is how I will reclaim your life,

And how I will reclaim my life.

 

 

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Runaways

When nobody can make you feel better.

And you can’t ignore it long enough to distract yourself.

And there’s no such thing as busy enough to forget about it.

And you just go deaf.

Catatonic.

 

You’re not bored.

You just want to remember you’re alive.

Get higher, board faster.

Turn the music up.

Forget how you got home last night.

Remember falling asleep on the couch so you wouldn’t wake her up.

She hogged the blankets anyway.

 

But you’ve memorized the hills, and the ride isn’t such a rush anymore.

At least not enough to forget.

Your tolerance goes up, you blow out all your speakers.

There’s no one to hog the blankets.

And you’re not sure if that’s how you want it.

So you’re just left with that ringing in your ear.

 

But you always wake up one day and realize you feel it again.

You just have to make it until that morning.

When you wake up, and you’re back.

 

You always come around.

Just hold on.

You’ll come around to save yourself.

It will level out.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

19th

Nonsense. I’m just posting nonsense.

Design work and illustrations to come, sure.

But for now? nonsense.

 

 

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lung(e)

newLUNGSPSD15k

It can be a little unnerving when the walls you spent so long building up get washed away in a high tide. Like you’re building with sand, and making no progress.

It’s no matter though, you always knew the walls were built out of sand.

You don’t find comfort in thinking they’ll protect you from getting washed away.

You find comfort in knowing they can be rebuilt.

Image note: This is a re-work of my previous post ‘Tracheal’ in preparation for its addition to the Super National store on Society6. All new colors and textures in 6k resolution for those who enjoy scrutiny! I actually ended up liking it a lot more than the original.

 

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Waking Up

hey750

I’m sorry, I know I’m not making enough money to keep the wolves fed. I know my finances are kind of a mess, I feel bad about that. Just understand that I had–have no choice. I have to wake up every day and do what I love, I just don’t see any way around that. I can never forget that I only have one life, and that I can’t waste it. It’s something inside me that I can’t ignore.

Don’t worry, the money will come. I’ve been preparing this stage for a while now. I just had to make sure I got it right. I can’t end up like Robin Williams, hung out in a mansion. I had to keep following that voice, no matter what, in spite of everything. I had to do what I knew would make me happy, no matter how ignorantly idealistic.

But the tickets are on sale for the show now. Spotlights are beaming into the low fog. I’m ready to show the world what I can do. Ready to leave their doubts behind me.

You know, in High School, there was this kid I hated more than anyone. I remember suppressing the urge to throw a punch once or twice. It kept me up at night.

But for the life of me.. I can’t remember his face.

So I wonder,

What was all the hate for…

So don’t ask me if I’m doing okay.

Ask me if I’m looking forward to waking up tomorrow.

The answer is yes.

Love,
Cow

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Cephi The Colossal Cpace Cephalopod

cephimarked

For Super Sunday, An illustration inspired by the hilarious (and vulgar [I mean it don’t read them {Okay well don’t come crying to me} ] ) writings of my good friend over at Terrrible Stories: Cephi the Majestic Star Eater. Seen here in her youth.

Want to see a summarized GIF of the creation process from sketch to finish? Then quit reading and use your mouse parts to CLICK HERE NOW 1,000,000th VISITOR CONGRATULATIONS, and check back later today for a SECOND POST (ITS THE END TIMES).

With Love,
Cow.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Two sentence stories.

2sentence

Decided to try writing a two sentence story. In the end I think it came across as being too emotional, but that’s okay. It’s a start. Back to my schoolwork for now.

Tagged , , , , ,